The tree was instead in the room at the care center - a purchased fiber optic one with a few decorations. Our daughter made a wreath and some random decorations were hung by caring visitors. It was the last Christmas with my beloved.
As the months passed and the next Christmas season approached my spirit was torn - I got physically ill while thinking about getting out "that" tree (you know the one). It held memories.....so many memories. Oh, and the decorations and the ornaments that we had collected over the years.....
Yet, I also could not stand the thought of this house being "dark" again at this special time.
Over a period of several days and after earnestly seeking the Lord with the simple question "What do I do Lord - I want to honor you and celebrate Your birthday - but how?" - I was given an idea - do it different - leave the "other" tree in the box and just do it different.
I have always enjoyed the theme of blue, white and silver at Christmas. My family, however, have always leaned towards the traditional colors. So that first year I decided to pursue the blue, white and silver theme.
It started simply with a tiny two foot white tree and blue lights. In addition I added some blue and silver odds and ends of decorations and then I rested and said "OK". It felt good but strange.
Each year since I have continued the same color scheme because I really like it and still can't imagine pulling out the "other" tree. This year I graduated to a three foot tree!
Yet, there is still something missing - I miss hearing him say "The house looks nice babe". A simple statement - simple words - but I so miss hearing them....
I have often wondered why I have bothered to put up these decorations in the years since my beloved passed........
It's just me, the cat and the dog here.........
But really......? Jesus is here too.....isn't He?
And dear ones I want you "here" as well! So I invite you to my home to see....
The tree.......
And of course, a butterfly!
A centerpiece...
A candle garden........
A simple Nativity..........
It will snow here tonight in the Midwest. And it will be cold and dark as most winter nights are. And tonight as my neighbors and strangers travel through the dark they will see the tree lights through the window and they will see this.....
the Nativity that sits simply out front. It needs nothing else to adorn it - the message is simple. The light that comes from it illuminates the entire corner where I live. It sends a message that this house is not dark, this house though stung by the pain of sorrow will not give in to the dark. It operates on a timer, and each night I will not turn on the tree lights until it comes on. That is my silent way of saying what is most important.
We used to set it up together, my beloved and I - and yes, I do miss that - many years he would put it out by himself while I was at work so I would see it when coming home.........
I like to believe that he does see it and is saying, " Looks good babe".
I know Jesus sees it and maybe, just maybe is saying "Thanks for remembering My birthday".
I am so glad I was able to share my Christmas with you dear ones. Whether this is your "first" or you have been through many, the message is the same - the Light has come. It brings hope to our weary, broken hearts.
Be at peace this night dear one - for He loves you so........
