He watches over each of His sparrows. And He watches over me.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
In 1994 my beloved and I packed up all of our belongings, had them loaded into a moving van, took the two children still at home and boarded a train from the West Coast to a new home in the Midwest. We decided to take the train since we had sold our vehicles and neither of us cared to fly. The train ride was phenomenal for me filled with breathtaking scenery until I heard about "the tunnel". Some passengers had been on the trip before and briefly mentioned it. The car attendant also mentioned it in passing and as we got closer it was explained to us that this was a particularly long tunnel and would require our patience and cooperation while the train passed through it. To say the least folks! - this tunnel is called the Maffet Tunnel and is some 6 miles long and DARK! We were given lots of warning and assured of our safety - nevertheless we would be traveling slowly through a mountain for 6 miles- and did I mention it would be dark? My husband and I decided we wanted the four of us to be together so we all went down to the cafe area and sat ourselves down in a booth. Then the announcement came over the PA system - Ladies and Gentlemen we are about to enter the tunnel. Please be assured we are safe and we will reach the other side. This trip through the tunnel is necessary for our journey as traveling around the mountain would be dangerous. That trip took 10 minutes - and did I mention - it was dark - really dark - so dark I could not see my hand in front of my face. I don't like dark and I don't like tunnels. In fact, had I known ahead of time that this trip would have involved a 10 minute trip through total darkness I might very well have opted for airfare. Nonetheless we made it and sure enough came out the other side - to the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen full of sunlight and the Colorado mountains. Scenery I can still remember all these years later.
As I sat there in that total darkness with my stomach churning I could not see my husband but I knew he was there. I also knew that the engineer of this train was quite competent and knew what he was doing. However, in spite of this knowing I also really knew something else - if I wanted to get where I was going I had no choice but to be still and trust knowing that I was in capable hands and my beloved was there next to me. However, I can honestly say that all that knowledge did not prevent me from gritting my teeth a bit and wishing my stomach would settle itself - it wasn't a fun trip through that tunnel - through the darkness - wondering when I would see the light again.
But the light did come and so much more with it - a new life in the Midwest - new experiences - new joys and a whole new world. But I had to go through the tunnel to get there.
Now I am in another tunnel - traveling in the darkness - without my beloved. Yet I know he is there, for he is with God and God is with me, therefore my beloved is with me also. The darkness will end and there will be light and breathtaking scenery in my life once again. I know this because the engineer guiding this train of grief through this tunnel of sorrow is the Lord God Almighty Himself.
God Himself is sitting next to me as I am being still and learning to trust Him in a way I never have before and I am finding that HE is indeed ENOUGH.
Rest easy dear ones - through the darkness - trust the Engineer - for He loves you so.