I have been determined not to let the second month pass before posting again. I am just barely making that goal!
In the weeks prior to starting this blog I was Moses - telling God I did not have the words and simply could not do this. Then once I got the nerve to jump out there and go for it I quickly turned into Peter and after being elated about "walking on water" and being very proud of myself I promptly fell in and got all wet!
So now I think I have dried off enough to try this again with a lot more humility and understanding that this is not an idle endeavor. Whoever reads these words will be impacted by them and the words will only come from me when God tells me what to say and when to say it.
I have been reading other blogs and am so impressed with them. The designs are awesome and the subject matter is incredible. I should warn you that I am not yet very cyber literate and my design will most likely stay quite simple and unadorned for a bit until I become more familiar with what I am doing. I am reluctant to press too many buttons for fear of what may result. For now I seem to have found a design and color scheme that is pleasing, so I will stay with that.
So, what to write about this night. For the last three weeks there has been a small, seemingly minor happening in my life that has come to mind and I think I am being led to share it. A few weeks ago during a casual conversation with a friend on a widow's group on facebook the word patience was mentioned in regard to getting over the grief caused by the death of our spouses. This friend said it was too bad patience was not a four letter word and I immediately had the thought "but it is - it's called "wait".
Shortly thereafter I remembered a spring afternoon much like the one we had today when my hubby and I were sitting outside watching all the sparrows busily tending to their nests and their young. We were often privledged to see the young emerge from their nests and taught how to fly by their parents. This particular day a little one did come out of the nest but after fluttering clumsily to the ground it was apparent she (my choice of pronoun 'cause I'm a she) was not ready to fly. She did not appear to be in any distress but sparrows are supposed to fly and she wasn't, therefore it was obvious something was wrong. We watched for a while and I became quite concerned, although hubby said let her be - she'll fly when she is ready. So to keep her safe from our dog I gently picked her up and placed her in a part of the yard that we had fenced off. For the next couple of hours I checked on her frequently. She appeared to be fine and would give me a "chirp" when I came near but simply sat there patiently and waited observing the world around her. I got involved in something else for a while and when I went back to check on her she was gone. She obviously had flown away. Now at the time I did not see the significance of that incident or how it would give me meaning for this season I am in now. That little bird found herself shocked by finding herself in a new situation and a different "place"; just as I have found myself shocked by this state called "widowhood". Although my husband's death was not sudden it was still a shock for me to find myself here in a world that is so very much different for me. I know I will need to get my wings ready to fly and I have been struggling these last almost ten months to get up there and soar but have not yet been able to do so. There have been some brief, very short flights but I always come back to that safe spot to rest because I get worn out and am just not ready. The little sparrow on the other hand did not try to fly at all - she simply waited patiently until she knew she had the strength and when she was ready she took off and went into her new life with gusto. Now I really understand Isaiah 40:29 & 31 - He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak. Those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. So wherever you are little sparrow fly high and strong. You taught me a valuable lesson.
Are you waiting for something as well? May I humbly suggest you be as that little sparrow and take advantage of the resting place where you find yourself these days. I am content in not using my wings until God says "go" because then I know they will truly be strong enough to take me where He wants me to be. He has a plan for our lives and when He is ready He will show us.
Blessings dear ones.